froekensocker

well, how could I forget.

it is the children, always the children.

and even if I only work with them once a week I feel better afterwards.

all week long I feel the pressure to fill this hour, to be good, to be the best teacher they ever had, I want them to like me, I want the parents to like me, it's not my native language we're speaking but it should be [I'm the first non-swede to work there] and I feel the pressure to just be good enough.

then it starts. they listen. sometimes they are loud. sometimes they don't sit on their chairs like they should. I don't care, it's better for their backs anyway. when I ask a question I get answers, they do what I tell them to, they do their work and I help and correct and make notes to myself kid a has problem this and that kid b reads really fast kid c talks so well but reads slowly kid d is shy kid e has a problem with grammar they all need to learn this and that in order to learn how to write.

then I read "charlie and the chocolate factory" to them and they listen and paint and laugh. I let them design their own chocolate cakes so they write and think and discuss without even noticing. next week they will draw comics of the awful kids with the golden tickets.

and then I say goodbye and feel light. it's not only the fact that I have a weekend to look forward to and that I didn't make a fool of myself, but

they are kids. they smile. when you say the right thing their faces open up. one time a mom considered not taking her son to class the next week because she didn't want him to be pressured too much and he want "NO BUT I WANT I WANT MOM!"

it is the best thing I know at the moment. and the most beautiful.